Janis Ian, of Mean Girls fame, once bestowed the guide to North Shore High upon Cady Heron in the form of a cafeteria map.  Labeled with the jocks, the geeks, the Plastics, and the coolest people Cady had ever met, Janis Ian’s guide goes down in history as an unrivaled, complete handbook to high school. While this article might not live up to such status, knowing how to navigate Ridge High School’s cafeteria on Chicken Finger Wednesday might ensure your survival.

Like any righteous food favorite, chicken fingers are indeed a hand-held food. They are versatile, effortless, and beautiful in all their golden glory. Not to mention, there are about a hundred different sauces your chicken tender could swim happily in. Wednesdays also mean the presence of delightful, velvety mac-and-cheese, the rare cheese quesadilla, and very sugary waffles, so you are never out of options. It’s no wonder that the lines stretch at least half the length of the cafeteria!

Stephanie Zheng ’18 recalls the first Wednesday in the cafeteria this year as “ridiculously crowded and it [took] forever to get food. I don’t really have that much patience.”  But it’s been said that people really do love their chicken tenders. (And their mac-and-cheese, quesadillas, and waffles.)

But is it even worth climbing through the sprawling line for a few moments of crispy glory? Upon arrival in the cafeteria on a Wednesday, all that’s really visible is a swirling storm of hungry students. All the lines for food are longer than the eighteen-page packet of notes due tomorrow! The line for chicken fingers must span at least seventy students. Where are the chicken tenders?

How would you even navigate the turbulent cafeteria? Bernie Jewson ’16 offers a wise suggestion: “Either get your food the second you walk in, or sit down and wait for the lines to die down.”

For the early and impatient, running to the cafeteria would be a viable course of action. Learn to zigzag through the halls, and then, upon purchasing your meal, stake your claim at the seat of your choice and claim your glorious prize! For those who arrive late and have a superior discipline over their growling stomach, waiting at a table would be a wonderful choice. Talking to friends, listening to music, sleeping at your cafeteria table, or finishing yesterday’s homework should help you pass the time.

Of course, you could always forego the lunchtime rush hour by packing your own lunch. Especially for the vegetarians at our school who dislike mac-and-cheese, packing lunch allows you control over what and when you want to eat. Whether it’s a chicken salad sandwich or yesterday’s leftover pasta, bringing lunch from home offers an easy solution to the Wednesday madness at the cafeteria.