Ridge High School has Another Bermuda Triangle Incident

Sophie O’Connor ‘24

BASKING RIDGE – The infamous Bermuda Triangle, a notoriously dangerous intersection between the atrium, 500, and 400 wing of Ridge High School has claimed the pride of yet another freshmen, witnesses claim. 

The student had reportedly tripped over his shoelaces and fallen to his hands and knees while in the high school’s very own Bermuda Triangle. He was sent to the nurse’s office for his broken pinky, which was stepped on by a football player currently bulking.

Over the centuries since the 500 wing was built, the Red Devil’s Triangle has been terrorizing the student body.

“Once I got flat-tired in the Triangle of Death—it was horrible. I lost my shoe and everything,” says one traumatized high schooler, whose shoe mysteriously never recovered. 

Freshmen especially have found their experience akin to a fish out of water. A close friend and eye-witness of the most recent victim, who wishes to remain anonymous, states that his fellow pupil had been trying to “just make it out alive”, despite the harsh shoving from the sea of older students. “It’s been really hard for me as well. Because of the press coverage, I’m in association with him more than I’d like. It’s really damaged my social reputation,” he adds.

The activists of the student body have planned a protest for the reconstruction of this dangerous region. “We can make this school a better place. Students have every right to walk to class without the fear of navigating such treacherous waters.”