A few days ago, I was walking behind two freshmen who were engaged in the most spirited of conversations, their voices getting louder and higher as they made their way to the cafeteria. Naturally, I lengthened my stride to catch the gist of their heated words.
“I think I’ll apply to [insert a top-tier college here],” said the first freshman. “No way you’ll get in,” replied the second. “I can name five people who’ll beat you.” He then proceeded to do just that. I was taken aback; to see seniors talking about college in such a manner is one thing, but to see freshmen doing the same raises a few eyebrows.
Almost every student knows about the reality of competition and the harshness it brings to Ridge. It is not always as healthy as teachers seem to think; we’ve evolved far beyond simply working harder or spending more time studying for better grades. As a senior, I have observed just about everything else that competition does to people at Ridge: students who nearly strangle others to find out their test grades, students who have joined just about every club Ridge has to offer regardless of interest, and, as I have recently discovered, seniors who persistently ask about to which colleges their fellow classmates are applying.
And let us not forget self-deprecation, which a friend of mine, Asli Pekcan ’15, points out is quite common. “Not outwardly so,” she says, but “like ‘Person X got a better grade than me, why am I so stupid?’”
It is natural, to some degree, to worry about performing poorly compared to others, especially for those who have college admissions looming overhead. As youths, we tend to think that losing is the ultimate humiliation. Ridge, with so many talented athletes, musicians, and the occasional genius, only amplifies that inherent worry and our efforts to succeed.
At the same time, we cannot deny that the competition has reached a fairly unhealthy level, particularly when it starts so early. Whether it is the work of obsessive parents or simply the aggregated influence of older grades, the cause is unknown, but even freshmen and sophomores are becoming increasingly fixated only on doing better than the kid next to them. The rumors fly frequently around here about letters being sent to teachers asking for special treatment or failed attempts of students trying to get into advanced classes. It appears to me that these kids are missing the point of high school: there is no doubt that a distinguished college would be a welcome reward, but we are expected to learn something during our four years at Ridge. That means striving for a grade to prove mastery of material rather than to shove it in someone else’s face. That means finding a truly enjoyable subject and indulging in it without ever checking its status on Home Access Center. That also means, contrary to popular belief, having a bit of fun: hang out with friends, leave the textbooks behind and watch a movie, wake up dad and go shoot a few hoops in the driveway. With a bit of responsibility, there will always be time for these things. I have yet to meet anyone who would rather stay inside and continue to obsess over schoolwork.
I chatted with a Ridge graduate earlier today, Adit Namdev, who is currently a freshman at Carnegie Mellon University. After asking about my college applications, he decided to impart a few words of advice that essentially began with, “High school is a joke.” He was fairly adamant about it too. “I just want to let you know,” he said with unusual seriousness, “Wherever you go, [college] is going to be hard.”
Look at the big picture. It is best to relax about the competition in high school and simply do our best on our own terms. Wherever we end up in college, the work will be challenging and the stresses will be much more severe. Take the advice of someone who has been here for a while: don’t treat school like The Hunger Games. If you ignore the competition and work only to satisfy yourself, you’ll leave Ridge as a winner anyway.