- I always have a lab during the second half of lunch. Or an extra help. Or simply an impatient, insatiable appetite.
- I need to retake Algebra 1, because I seem to have forgotten that a line indicates a thin, linear strip of people ordered in a single-file fashion, not a bunch of kids shooting off the kitchens’ door frames in starburst diagonals.
- I relish the silence the line-waiters adopt to my line-cutting habits, the way their eyes will flicker with disgust but their mouths will stay obediently shut. Silence, after all, turns any action into a just one.
- For the scant few that for some reason ask me to stop cutting, I simply wave my Green LanyardTM in their faces, hover my 6 foot (minus 1-2 inches) frame over their heads, and watch my subjects cower in fear.
- (I believe that acquiring the prized Green LanyardTM endowed me with the right to intimidate those with the lowly Blue, Orange, or Red Lanyards.)
- I also believe that opportunity stems from nepotism. You see, sometimes I go up to a friend who’s already been waiting in line and start asking them about yesterday’s history quiz and then somehow find myself becoming a part of the line as well (that’s not cutting, right?).
- I have made the lunch lines so insufferable that the only reasonable time to enter them is right before the bell rings for the second half of lunch, by which time my cronies and I have already cherry-picked all the panini mozzarella and warm mac-and-cheese bites out of the shelves.
- I am enchanted by the lunch servers’ and teachers’ apathy to my habits. In fact, I am empowered by it.
- I am further empowered by the sheer length of the lines, especially during the first-half rush-hour where the entire student body of Ridge seems to flood into the cafeteria. Doesn’t anyone see how the pizza line sometimes snakes all the way out the doors, spilling out the hallway and surging towards the gym? Oh well. No one does anything about it, so cutting is simply the only way. After all, nobody wants to wait in such a long line, right?
- I believe that, as a high school student, I am entitled to a large appetite. You see, I’ve got my 6 AP classes, my 10 Common App extracurriculars, and my 100+ volunteer hours all piled high on my plate. At the end of the day, I’m just a hungry teenager. My stomach simply screams louder than my conscience.
Inside the Minds of the Lunch Line Cutters at Ridge
October 15, 2024
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Shinah • Oct 15, 2024 at 3:10 pm
This is actually so accurate. I can agree with about… the first 10 of these. This is a really good representation of what happens inside our minds, and I think most of us can relate to about 2 or 3 of these.